are you ok?

As a former sufferer of depression (and a person who probably still has it lingering inside her), nothing angers me more than when people naively suggest that we ‘can choose to be happy’. Honestly, do people really think if we had the ability to choose, we’d choose to feel utterly useless?

Depression is something I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. The feeling takes over and sometimes, you physically cannot move, because you feel so down. Unfortunately, however, the truth of the matter is it’s not an uncommon illness. And yes, it is just that. It’s an illness. It’s something people suffer from and something people can die from. And the more unfortunate thing is that there is not enough support for sufferers.

Recently, the head advisor of mental health for the Rudd government, Professor John Mendoza resigned because the Labor government are still failing to spend the necessary money on mental health support and treatment. He said it was frustrating constantly hearing stories of mental health patients being turned away from help. 330 people requiring treatment for mental issues are turned away from emergency rooms every day because there is simply not enough care.

Suicide happens, we’re all well aware of that. Many people suggest that people who commit suicide took the easy way out, and while it may seem this way to people who have never suffered depression or other mental illnesses, it is most untrue.

I’ve been there. I used to cut myself to numb the pain and I once attempted to kill myself because I thought I could not go on. This is one of the hardest things for me to admit. But I wear my heart on my sleeve and I feel that people need to know the absolute hell depression sufferers go through. So no, it’s not the easy way out. It’s a fucking hard decision and the absolute last resort. I am just lucky my attempt didn’t work and I am lucky that I eventually got the support I needed and realised I actually did not want to die.

I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, which bascially means a severe case of being emotionally unstable. It’s been almost 2 years since I finished months of therapy and since I stopped taking anti-depressants, yet I know I will always have the metaphorical demon inside me. But now I know the triggers and the signs and I know I need to get help sooner if the demon decides to rear its ugly head again. I found help but others aren’t so fortunate.

I read a story recently about a mother who lost her daughter to suicide a few years ago. She said her daughter had told her not long before she died that she wished ‘she had cancer, because then people would be more caring and understanding’. That is an incredible sad and desperate thing to say, but I do agree with her. Depression can be as serious as cancer, but most people think of it as a weakness rather than an illness and this really pisses me off.

As a society, we are not educated enough on the seriousness of mental health. We need more coverage of the issue and more help readily available. The government must do more.

We can start with looking beneath a smile and if a friend doesn’t seem happy, simply ask ‘Are you OK?’ It doesn’t take much, but you could be saving someone’s life.

“Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?”

If there is one thing, I will never understand; it’s homophobia. How can any human being have such a problem with who someone else is fucking? [unless it's your 'faithful' partner, of course]. But to have an issue with someone based on the fact that they to fall in love with someone else who happens to have the same genitalia; that’s just pathetic.

I am not gay. I am a heterosexual female. And I feel lucky to have basic human rights. I doubt very much that I actually want to get married, but at least I have that choice. Homosexuals do not. And that makes me sick. Apparently, it’s all to do with ‘the institution of marriage’ and it being between a man and a woman. God says this apparently. God, pfft!  At least there’s proof homosexuality exists. I don’t see any proof of any God, thank you very much. Australia is not a church and religion should never come into politics.

Last Saturday, 15th May, it was International Day Against Homophobia. Equal Love held a rally in support of same sex marriage and Melbourne was lucky enough to have actor and director, Ian McKellen and some of the cast of his play ‘Waiting for Godot’ attend.  McKellen spoke words of truth (i.e; legalizing same sex marriage “would cost the Australian government nothing financially”) and he spoke words of inspiration. My favourite quote of his short but sweet speech was this; “gay people are all born unique but we are all born equal with the rest of the people and the law simply must not discriminate”

At this same rally, Greens senator Sarah Hanson-Young received a 100,000 signature strong petition in support of same sex marriage. At least 4000 people attended the rally in Melbourne alone. 60% of people in Australia do not agree with the ban on same sex marriage. You’d think by now, the government would realise this will not harm our country. It may make some religious extremists a bit mad, but it’d make a hell of a lot more people happy.

Anyway, this is a rather common rant for me. But equal rights now, damn it! But for now, if my LGBTI friends do not have the same rights as me, than I don’t want any rights either.

*title quote: ~Ernest Gaines-American writer.

www.equallove.info

“Captain Cook was the very first queue jumper”

What a disgrace. Our beautiful country full of values of freedom and mateship turns out to be led by, well, to put it nicely, a big fucking racist. Congratulations Kev, you’ve managed to turn one’s opinion of you as ‘the better alternative’ into ‘I-cannot-believe-I-voted-for-a-disgusting-bigot’.

Singling out  nations whose people cannot come into this country is one of the lowest, pathetic decisions of our time. I don’t think you can get much more racist than that.

I would like to make a simple point. The word refugee, believe it or not, actually means ‘one who flees in search of  refuge’. And the term ‘boat people’ is a sick, belittling and degrading term. I refuse to use it.

Refugees are fleeing hell to try and make a better life for themselves. They are risking everything, breaking rules and breaking free from their own country. Sometimes leaving behind family in an attempt to start a life in Australia. Because logic says, we’re a big country and there’s actually massive amounts of room.

Instead, these refugees are met by a figurative big hand signaling the words ‘go away, go home or find yourself locked up in a detention centre or ever better, sent to an island to be treated like animals’. Don’t get me started on the words ‘detention centre’. I mean, why on earth in the 21st century are people locked away like criminals for simply looking for a new home?

And if the refugees at least get to immigrant status, then they are met with filth like ‘Fuck off, we’re full.’ Um, no we are not. England, a country that would fit in the third smallest of our states, has more than double our entire population and they’re not bursting at the seams.

The argument ‘oh they’re stealing our jobs’ is pure fucking bullshit. if you’re so good at your job, why so threatened by someone else? OH! And my favourite, Facebook groups such as ‘Your (sic) in Australia, speak English’. No, no, no. You’re in Australia, speak whatever language you like. Please, when making a racist jibe, at the very least use proper English grammar, you fucking fools.

Let refugees in. This country is big enough for all of us. Let them in and let them teach classes on respect because I can guarantee those ‘allowed’ in would show immense respect to all of us and could show all the racist bastards that inhabit this country the true meaning of respect.

If we’re going to eliminate ‘boat people’ and ‘queue jumpers’ then we’d have to have all white people fuck off, cos the only real Australians are the indigenous. This is aboriginal land, always will be. But whilst we have a dickhead white man in power, then he could at least have the dignity to help not hinder.

Call me a self hater if you like, but at least I have reasons, at least I don’t hate other races, other cultures for reasons fueled only by ignorance and cruelty.

Dear Mr Abbott, shut the fuck up!

In light, of recent comments from an idiotic Australian politician, I am stepping back up on my soapbox.

Tony Abbott, conservative, Catholic, sexist and homophobe. Recently he angered women out there but suggesting we stay virgins until we’re married as it’s the right thing to do. But men are allowed to try before they buy. Not entirely sure who they’re meant to sleep with.

But even more recently, this bigot has gone on an Australian current affairs program and openly said he was threatened by homosexuals. I believe his exact words were “I probably feel a bit threatened, as so many people do. It’s a fact of life”

When will he and the ‘many others’  realise that loving someone of the same sex, is a love no different to heterosexual love? The senate only a few weeks ago, voted against a bill that could have allowed same sex marriage. Our politicians are homophobic. What does this say about one’s country when all the highest ‘powers’ can’t even have an intelligent view on the matter. Either that, or they just didn’t vote because they don’t care. And that’s disgusting.

I have tried to find some sort of love for this country. But I just can’t. When our laws and policies are not those of equality, I cannot help to feel completely let down by the country I have to reside in.

Abbott also suggested that homosexuality challenges “orthodox notions of the right order of things.” Since when has people’s love for another not been the right order of things? As intelligent human beings, how about we challenge the ‘natural’ order of the things and stand up for equality.

This year being an election year, is the year of action, for same sex marriage (and every other) rights. This coming weekend, Melbourne is revving up for the Equal Love rally. (And Sydney and Brisbane are doing it for 20th March). It’s important to me, as a supporter of same sex rights, that I attend the rally and shout until it hurts.

We can take a stand against these idiots. And until something right happens, I will stick by my fellow human beings, who deserve the same love and respect as everyone else, regardless of who you fall in love with.

Tony Abbott is a fool. And anyone else who takes his views are mindless twits.

Support what is right; Equal Love

www.equallove.info

Random Review # 2

These are always fun…I shuffle my iTunes and whatever song comes first, I review the album it’s from:

Rise Against-Appeal to Reason

2008

The most recent release of the gentlemen from Chicago, Appeal to Reason is superbly done. It’s not their best work, in my opinion, but I don’t think they can do much wrong. The guys are lovers of our planet and it generally shows through their music. Collapse (Post-Amerika) sends a strong message to listeners about what we’re doing to our planet and telling us to stop fucking with it, because one day it will die and we’ve all overlooked it.

The album is angry, it’s pissed off. It’s everything a young person needs to listen to. You can take the songs and relate them to anything you want to. Hell, some of these songs got me through a break up and then got me fired up for a political protest. Not many bands can evoke so many emotions for so many reasons.

Rise Against seem to do a brilliant acoustic songs on most albums. There was Roadside on The Sufferer and the Witness and of course Swing Life Away on Siren Song of the Counter Culture. Hero of War is the amazing acoustic piece of Appeal to Reason. It’s a song about a soldier forced to fight, forced to torture and how to him, he’s a real hero because he’s ‘protecting his great country’. It’s not a song in favour of war. It was actually quite disgusting, at a recent gig of theirs, when people had their Australian flags waving proudly during the rendition of this, as if to think this song is praising the war. Singer Tim McIlrath clearly has the right opinions, or left, in the case of politics.

Political musicians will never die, in my opinion. Since it was ok to be out and proud pissed off with something, it’s brought us some awesome tunes. From The Doors to Rage Against the Machine to those small underground bands with their hidden messages, a strong political stance in the music, seems to get those fans. Perhaps it’s because instead of singing about sex, love and having loads of women by your side, these bands sing about what matters. They showcase the fact that they’re talented and intelligent.

Wearing a Rise Against shirt once, I had to laugh when someone asked “Rise against what?” I happily replied “Rise against whatever the hell you want”. The little bit of revolutionary in me comes out when I listen to any album by Rise Against. They’re my angry, political little pleasure.

not giving up!

ok, so as predicted, I’ve been rather slack with my blogging!

my last week has been busy busy busy. and gave me inspiration to rant about certain things.

mainly, my career. I don’t have one. that’s the issue. I just got moved to a different dept in my current job and it’s made me realise I am just sick of doing back up jobs! I work in the banking industry. I have a hatred for maths and I don’t particulary like how I have to do my job anyway . I want to get my arse into gear. This year is it.

I am hanging out on seek.com everyday now to find the perfect job. but I won’t leave this cushy, well paying job until I have found something amazing. and I will take a lower paying job in the right industy. the right industry for me is media. I either want to get into publishing or radio. or my absolute dream career of music journalism. but I’m sure we’re all aware how fucking hard that kinda industry is to get into. the only experience I have is a weeks worth of school work experience at a publishers. [love that they paid me in books-awesome!]

as I get older, and yes 21 is getting older, I can’t help to lose a little of what has always been a small amount of self belief. I attempt to write and I tell myself, I am shit and no one will ever want to publish me. I attempt to apply for jobs and tell myself that without experience, I’ll get no where. I look at uni courses to gain said experience and I suddenly get all annoyed at myself for giving up my first attempt at uni…how the fuck am I meant to succeed with that kinda downgrading, horrible talk?

anyway, I’m going to eat breakfast and stop this blog short. there’s not a lot of point to it. just whinging and whining about just how shit I am and how shit I will always be.

bye now

civil rights or civil war! gay rights now!

I’ve been inspired to write this blog after my first viewing of Milk; the film adapted from the doco ‘The Times of Harvey Milk.’

For anyway who hasn’t seen it, it’s basically the story of gay rights activist Harvey Milk, who became the first homosexual supervisor in a San Fran district. It tells the story of the years he spent fighting for basic human rights for homosexuals. He fought hard, right up until his assassination in 1978.

He was a smart guy and so passionate about making sure he and his peers got the rights they deserve. The movie made me cry; tears of sadness and tears of happiness and inspiration.

I want to start this rant with the simple question: what the fuck is the problem? Why must people care what other people are doing in their own homes, in their own lives? We’re all human and how dare anyone try and suggest that sleeping with someone of your own sex means their rights be lesser than those of us heterosexuals. People should able to kiss, to have sex with and to marry anyone they bloody well like.

Gay people don’t hurt anyone. Being gay doesn’t mean you’re a pervert or sick or going against God’s will. I’m not religious at all, but I thought God is meant to love all. So why do certain religious fuck wits think that having a different sexual orientation means gay people deserve this apparent God’s love any less? These people call themselves human, yet they’d prefer to stand up for a belief in an imaginary man and his magical carpenter son, then for the rights for everyone to love anyone they want to love. It’s not only ‘religious’ people that feel this way, but other narrow-minded, uneducated [yes, I do believe people who don’t support equal rights are a little brainless], piece of shit, so-called human beings. And it disgusts me. What a horrible species we are.

In Milk, one of the central plots is Harvey’s fight against overly religious idiot Anita Bryant, who campaigned against housing and employment rights for homosexuals. It also focused greatly on Proposition 6; an initiative of Californian state legislator [and oh so conservative] John Briggs. This initiative tried to ban any homosexual or even gay rights supporters, from working in public schools. He suggested that by taking homosexuals teachers out of schools, it would lower the odds of perverts and paedophiles. Because we all know, a straight man or women would never try anything sexual on a student. [Note- SARCASM!] The initiative was defeated, almost 60-40%.

To this day, we still have ignorant tools who think being gay is disgusting or perverted. Take Senator Steve Fielding of Australian political party ‘Family First’ for instance. He actually compared homosexuality to incest! He quoted “A bloke cannot marry his brother; it is not right. A woman cannot marry their sister; it is not right. A bloke cannot marry a bloke because it is not right, and a female cannot marry a female because it is not right. I don’t support this” Yes, our Family First party is so strongly against discrimination based on sexuality yet they don’t support LGBT rights regarding adoption, IVF, marriage and civil unions. Contradiction much? You pack of idiotic bigots.

I don’t even believe in marriage. Love is true, regardless of whether a bit of paper is signed. But everyone should have the right to marry the person they are in love with and want to spend the rest of their lives with. Yet, in many countries, it’s still not legal. Why the hell not? I’ve heard the most ridiculous arguments against gay marriage. Like, it will ruin the sanctity of marriage. Ah, have you seen the divorce rates? Straight people are already ruining the sanctity of marriage.

There’s also the cracker that ‘God meant marriage to be between a man and a woman’. Since when has God been a politician? Why the fuck does religion have to come into politics? As an atheist, I’m offended that the laws I should be obeying are inspired by a mythical man whom we have NO PROOF ABOUT WHATSOEVER!

[Note-everyone is entitled to their own beliefs; I have nothing against religion in general, unless it’s shoved in my face]

So, don’t you think it’s time we allowed full equal rights here in Australia and everywhere else? Isn’t it time to let go of those old-fashioned, very outdated opinions?

We have to fight for this. Personally, I’m heterosexual, but it really doesn’t matter. I will fight alongside the homosexual community until the day I die or until every human being has equal opportunities in all aspects of life. But, I really hope the latter comes first.

SUPPORT EQUAL LOVE [AUSTRALIA]

www.equallove.info

Random Review # 1

look at me, back after only 9-ish hours!! so today, I thought I’d do a random review on an album…so am opening iTunes up and then shuffling to a song. whatever album it’s from, I review. wish me luck

ooo convenient, my favourite band;

Green Day-Insomniac

1995

Ok, so I was only 7 when this was released, but I am an avid fan of these awesomely beautiful and talented men, so I know a little bit

Post-Dookie, the LP is a little rougher round the edges. Dookie seemed to be this fun album. I mean, a track about masturbation, what’s funner than that? But the transition onto Insomniac really shows the grungier, as opposed to punk, side of Green Day. I don’t know whether Green Day would appreciate comparisons, but I seem to think of Nivarna when I hear tracks like Geek Stink Breath or No Pride.

Obviously, there’s still a major punk element to this album. I can’t help to notice the rebel in frontman Billie Joe Armstrong’s voice at all times. Even to this day, he sounds like a cranky, hormonal teenager [although now with stronger political stance], and hey, I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. In fact, it’s what I think makes so many people relate to Green Day; we all have a little cranky, hormonal teenager in us.

Track Pick:

Brain Stew/Jaded

This track has always been a favourite of mine, especially the Brain Stew part. It’s my alarm tone every morning and yet, I am still not sick of it.

It’s evident the track has an element of Led Zep in there; built around a sample of 1975 track, Kashmir. The opening chords always, always get stuck in my head and I feel like I must learn guitar every time I hear this song!

It’s a little sad, yet hilarious, that non-lovers of Green Day imagine every one of their songs, has to be written about drugs. Forum posts suggest, Brain Stew is no different. Yes, the band is named with a drug reference in mind and yeah, ok, there are a few songs that certainly don’t condemn the use of drugs.   But, look a little deeper, people. It’s clearly written about Insomnia; not being able to sleep!! Supposedly, Billie Joe wrote it about the nights after his son was born, when he couldn’t sleep through the crying. I think it’s cute, but then again, I also think Billie Joe is the sexiest man alive!

The song is one of my favourites, and the album itself actually rates higher than Dookie in my books. That’s almost blasphemy to suggest, but perhaps I prefer the rougher side of this astronomically wonderful trio+2!

Cheers,

it’s time

so, I’ve decided once again to pursue blog writing.

I’ve have attempted many a time and failed after a few weeks.  It may be that I am just too lazy…actually that’s the definite reason. But this time, I have a new motive-uh, it’s called actually wanting to do something about my writing talents that are lying hidden beneath some kind of low self esteem surface.

I know, I can write. But I can guarantee, the first criticism I get, means uh oh, writing efforts plummet. I don’t even know if people will bother reading this. Maybe just that one avid blogger friend, I have. Whom will now be known simply as Sven.

My attempt with this blog is to just write. Reviews, firstly, because that is my dream career. Music reviewer/journo to be exact. I will also try my hand at writing fantastically brilliant opinion pieces on things that either piss me off greatly or make me smile. I’m pretty much a pessimist, so the former will  likely be the winner on most days.

So anyway, being 11.15pm, Melbourne time, my creative buzz ends now…

Fingers crossed, my next post will be within 2 days…a week, at most.

love x